I need to book the dentist. I have needed to book the dentist for four months.
It is not hard. It is a phone call. Five minutes. But every time I think of it I am driving, or making dinner, or in the middle of something, and I tell myself I will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into next week. Next week turns into “I really need to book the dentist” being a permanent resident in my head.
I finally booked it when it became an emergency. A filling fell out. Suddenly it was urgent. And I sat in the chair thinking, if I had just booked the check-up four months ago, this would have been caught early and cost me nothing.
Instead it cost me $400 and a morning off work.
We are great at looking after everyone except ourselves
I know exactly when my kids’ vaccinations are due. I know when their eye tests are. I know when their school dental appointments are. I have never missed one.
My own smear test is two years overdue. My mammogram referral is sitting in a drawer. I have not had my eyes checked since 2023. And the dentist. Four months.
This is not unique to me. Every woman I talk to is the same. The kids are sorted. The partner is sorted. The dog is sorted. They are last. Always last.
Not because we do not care about our health. Because there is always something more urgent. And “more urgent” is code for “someone else needs me.”
The invisible to-do list of looking after yourself
Here is a list of things most women are overdue on right now:
- Dentist check-up
- Smear test
- Eye test
- Mammogram
- GP check-up
- Skin check
- Blood tests
- Prescription renewals
How many of those apply to you? Be honest.
We track our kids’ health like a project manager. We track our own health like someone who will “get around to it.” And we wonder why we feel run down.
Why we put ourselves last
Part of it is time. There genuinely are not enough hours. When you are working, parenting, managing a household, and trying to keep everyone fed and alive, a dentist appointment feels like a luxury.
Part of it is guilt. Taking time for yourself feels selfish. There is always something else you should be doing. The house. The kids. The work. Your health appointment feels like it is taking time away from someone who needs you more.
And part of it is just forgetting. Not forgetting that you need to do it. Forgetting to actually do it. The thinking about it happens constantly. The doing never happens because there is never a gap.
What I changed
I wrote down every health appointment I need and when it is due. All of them. Dentist, GP, smear test, eye test, the lot.
I put them in one place with the date they are next due. Not in my head. Not on a sticky note. In a system that reminds me.
Then I blocked out one morning a month for health stuff. That is it. One morning. I book whatever is due that month and I go. No guilt. No “I will do it next week.” It is in the calendar. It happens.
The first month I booked three appointments I had been putting off for over a year. It took me 15 minutes to book all three. Fifteen minutes. I had spent a year feeling guilty about fifteen minutes of phone calls.
The self-care stuff that actually matters
I am not talking about bath bombs and face masks. That is not self-care. That is marketing.
Real self-care is:
Booking the dentist. Taking your medication on time. Getting your repeat prescription before it runs out. Drinking water. Sleeping enough. Moving your body. Seeing a friend who fills your cup.
It is boring. It is not Instagram-worthy. And it is the stuff that keeps you functioning.
I use an app called Finch with my daughter. We do it together every morning. It is a tiny self-care game. We check in, set a small goal for the day, and look after our little virtual bird. It takes two minutes. My daughter loves it. And it is the one thing that reminds me to check in with myself every day.
Is it silly? Maybe. Does it work? Yes.
The prescription trap
This one catches so many women.
You have a medication you take daily. You know your repeat is running out. You tell yourself to call the doctor. You forget. You run out on a Friday. The doctor is closed. You go the weekend without it. Monday you are in a rush and forget again.
By the time you get the prescription renewed you have been without medication for a week.
The fix is so simple it is almost annoying. Check when your repeats run out. Put a reminder two weeks before. Not one day before. Two weeks. That gives you enough buffer to forget once, remember, and still get it sorted in time.
If this sounds like you
You are not selfish for looking after yourself. You are not taking time away from your family. You are making sure you are still standing to look after them.
Book one thing today. Just one. The dentist. The GP. The eye test. Whatever has been sitting in your head the longest.
Do not wait until it is an emergency. Do not wait until you are in pain. Do not wait until it costs you $400 and a morning off work.
Five minutes. One phone call. Get it out of your head and into the calendar.
You deserve the same care you give everyone else.
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