017 How to deal with toxic people

Do you have toxic people in your life?

 

There are all types of negative people-

JUDGEMENTAL COMEDIANS   – The funny guy who judge’s everyone around them – You know they cover up their negativity with humour.  No one is safe when this guy is around

THE DRAMA QUEENS – Nothing like a good old soap to watch – these people can take any small situation and blow it up into something GLORIOUS.  Who needs TV!!  They are always on advance of war with someone, somewhere.  Whats even better about these people is they get involved with situations that have nothing to do with them – like their great great,  aunts cousins sister situation …

VAMPS – These are the types of people who SUCK all the good out of everything  …. Nothing you do can please this person.

NAYSAYERS –  I like to call them DREAM killers –  They slash at your dreams like their life depends on it. These types of people only let you follow your dreams if it is their idea.  They love to control everything in your life and they are the first to tell you your ideas suck.

THE MANIPULATOR – These ones come in packages of cuteness. They may be small and adorable but they can manipulate you into things you know in your core you are NOT.  Manipulators are hard to discover because they are good at making you think it is all your idea.  They are incredibly controlling and everything has to be their way.

GOSSIPERS – Nothing is secret around a serial gossiper. Your best friend may be one and if the things they tell you over a cup of tea are better than the local rag, then you know your secrets arn’t safe. They would turn on you in a second if they could get an audience.

OVER ANALYSIS –  This is someone who analysis’s everything. This is someone who has serious trust issues and low self esteem. They find it very hard to take things on face value and they dissect conversations and then comes up with their own reality of the situation. They can turn an innocent off hand comment to mean something sinister.  They always think people are out to get them.

Do you recognise any of these?

There are two categories of people of the above

Ones who are blissfully unaware of the mayhem they cause and ones who get a sick pleasure out of causing mayhem and enjoy pushing everyones buttons around them.  I imagine them hopping into bed at night with a smile on their face while everyone else is awake all hours thinking about the turmoil of the day.

All the above people cause STRESS.  So how do we combat these types of toxic people – Of course depending on if they are blissfully unaware to the ones that thrive on turmoilyou can imagine we deal with each one differently.

The first thing to do is for you to watch the behaviour of the people around you – Is their behaviour having an affect on you.  How do you feel after they leave ?  Light or heavy-  One indicator i noticed was how tired i felt. Tired and short of breathe – Like the person sucked the happiness out of everything around me – Like dementors –

What i want to say to you is to – Cut them out of your life – Immediately. But i realise this can be hard depending on who the person is to you.

Reducing your time with them is then next on my list.  Cut your time with them shorter and shorter.

Or the other option is – Change them –  This is near impossible – However you can train them into how YOU are and what behaviour is acceptable around you.   You continue to be positive and the moment those behaviours raise their head – knock em over. Tell them thats not acceptable and you would appreciate it if they would cease.

Each of us will find our own ways with dealing with them – The point is you have to recognise the behaviour first.

Be watchful.  Pay attention.

 

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